WORK - wat dat?

Ola people!
How’s it goin? So, we’ve covered the Arts, family ties.. this week we’re gonna discuss work.
W-O-R-K. ‘The’ dirty 4-letter word. It sounds filthy every time I say it.
Downright blasphemous.
Work - a lousy way to make a living.
When did it all change? I remember a time when all you had to worry about was if the guys are gonna let you play football with them in the evening or is it going to be another evening of Hop Scotch with the neighbourhood girls.
And now –
Where is my career heading?
Is this what I was meant to do for the rest of my life?
Which month am I getting paid for anyway?
That HOT chick in accounts would look really cool if she didn’t have a moustache.
And there’s other crap like trying to figure out what language the people in your office are trying to speak.
Yesterday I heard my boss saying.. Jonathan.. we’ve got to get the T.P’s (transparencies) to our H.O. (HEAD OFFICE) so that they can start working on the C.G (computer graphics) A.S.A.P.
Oh.. I really hate ASAP. That’s the worst one.
So I turned around and told her, “sure… but hold on for a sec while I go for a P. and perhaps catch some Z’s and after surfing some P.O.R.N.O.G.R.A.P.H.Y.” Ok perhaps that last one didn’t really gel.
Oooh Oooh… yesterday I had this conversation with my brother.. and while describing his job said he was to embark on a project that would involve…(hold your breath)…’Crystallising the Offings’.
So I said.. dude… why’re you going around buying jewellery for other peoples kids?
And he says… No No my dear ignoramus. (I didn’t get that one either)
It involves projects that are not really projects, and I’ve got to make them REAL projects by crystallizing them.
Comprendez?
Non Signior.
Ok.. straying away from corporate jargon.. what about Time Sheets? Have any of you guys ever filled out a time sheet. Not me.. I never had the good fortune to fill one out.
For those of you who don’t know what a time sheet is, it’s a Break up of each working day and how constructively you spent it. And after a period of time, management uses it for appraisals.
I figured out what my time sheet will look like.
10:30 –11:00 – Getting sensitized to work surroundings.
11:00 – 12:00 – Catching up on daily world events to progressively broaden my world views (read the paper)
12:00 –1:00 – Analaysed my past eating habits and after drawing a pie chart, figured out what the present days consumption would be. (ordered lunch)
1:30 – 2:00 -- Lunch
2:00 – 4:00: -- Siesta, which of course is an integral part of any work place.
4:00 -- 5:00 : Surfed Porn, which of course is an integral part of any work place.
5:00 – 6:00 : Worked on the Pepsi campaign.
6:00 – 6:30 : Watched some TV.
Work.. it’s hard…it’s lousy… but somebody’s gotta do it.
If anybody’s got some kindda anecdote about work… do write in. You know what .. even if you don’t still write in anyway. Say something like.. "Hey bro... you're of freak of nature. Cheerio then!"
It helps boost morale around here.