Friday, September 29, 2006


Ola people, Que Pasa. fuenta wiggy,
Ok.. maybe i made that last one up.
Sooooo another day, another blog... another reason to take those cyanide pills you've been saving for a special reason.
Ok... so i have this friend who claims that the topics selected for the blogs are MYOPIC. So i did what any self respecting pseudo writer would do. I ran home and quickly looked up MYOPIC in the dictionary -- Short Sighted.
Hmmm.. so i sat down, meditated, pondered, deliberated and.... nothing. All i could think of was super heroes, cartoon characters, nursery rhymes and who invented rubberbands. (Even that was stolen from someone else.) Just think about it. If rubber bands weren't invented.. how much fun would bungee jumping be. You'd just go down. That's it! Just like sky diving.. but without a parachute.
Anyways.. enough of rubber bands.
Last weekend, i went for the Khala Ghoda Festival in town. An exhibition of the arts. Ahhh.. something worthy of a blog. ART.
A couple of things here that need to be questioned and analysed.
Dont' these guys know how to colour within the lines? Watsup dudes? You're supposed to be artists. I'm no art crtitique extraordinaire, but i'm sure when you draw a river.. let the blue paint stay in the river. Not out into the mountains.. onto the frame and finally onto the exhibition wall.
Atleast that one chap painted a river. The next one was philiosophical. Deep. A canvas.. painted orange.
One shade of Orange. Period. One square canvas.. painted orange. WHAAAATTT! Do people get paid for that? And guess what... it was untitled. Can you believe he had trouble naming the painting.
Letsee.. this is a tough one. If i had to name it.. i would name it... "Nightmares and dreamscapes"??? "Flights of Fancy"... oohh oooh.. how bout this.
It' gets better.
Next artist. He's takes an x-ray. And framed it. No jokes. But he does add his creative brush stroke to it. On the pinky toe, he put one tiny red dot.
Go figure. My brother (who's on the same tangent as these artists) seems to think he wants to denote cancer of the pinky toe.
I think he got some ketchup on by mistake before framing. Your guess is as good as mine.
I've already started on my set of canvas's. Even booked the Jehangir Art Gallery next week. This is what im gonna exhibit.
A sea blue Canvas with two tiny giraffes heads in the centre - titled- "Noah didn't see the rocks."
A red canvas - tited - "The spiritual and sadistical cold war between green and yellow."
A couple of horizontal lines - titled - " Horizontal lines"
Broken wallnut shells on a yellow canvas - titled " I'm in agony.. who broke my nuts?"

I need a couple of more ideas for exhibits.. so if anybody has any... do send them in as fast as possible. The more insane the better. I'll split the profits.
Ciao for now and all that jazz and stuff,

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Dog Happiness

Happiness. Yes people, i thought we should get a little serious for once. No more nusery rhymes, stupid proverbs and nonsensical suggestions. I'm talking about serious introspection. Are you really really happy with your life? You know what I wanna be. I wanna be Dog Happy. You notice how they're on top of the world just by sniffing someones butt! Then they got that tail wagging thing going on, and they'll jump up and down just because they sniffed someones posterior. That's all it took. No parallels drawn to other dogs leashes or clipped nails to measure their level of happiness. No.. they're not materialistic. I'm not saying that I want to start sniffing people's behinds to get a high, but I want to derive the same ecstasy out of the simple things in life. Just like how a dog gets ecstatic when you put down the window while driving and he sticks his head out, I want to stick my head out and get ecstatic . Yup.. stick my head out of my BMW and get delirious. It's the little things. I wanna own property by just by peeing on the place. Just like a doggy marks it territory. Just imagine .. you're walking by this huge sea-facing bungalow, you like it - just spray the place.. and it yours! Wohoo! No worries about Title deeds, mortgages, house papers.. and money. Someone says... Wow what a place yours? You can say proud and loud Yup... just peed on it yesterday Of course, thinking aloud now, you might want to electrically charge the fence to your place afterwards to ward off future pee-ers. OK OK I know what you're thinking. You're saying Jonathan what about that castration and neutering thingy. That might hurt a bit. Well, I say... small price for the rules of doggy relationships. No commitment required. One night stands are just fine. And there atleast nobody thinks you've lost it when you howl after passionate wild intimacy. Not that I howl. Loudly. It's more of a whimper actually. Nevertheless, I think I got my point through. The two legged animals got this whole happiness thing wrong. Take it from me (nooo noo.. i have two legs as well) derive happiness from the smaller things in life, and it'll be much more fulfilling.