Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Question everything.
That’s what they told me. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing all my life.
Truth 1: There is no ‘they’.
Truth 2: If there was a ‘they’, they wouldn’t speak to me. Even my ‘inside voices’ have to be bribed to carry on some casual banter.
Truth 3: That’s not exactly what I’ve been doing my whole life. There has been a sizeable amount of drinking, sleeping, bad punning, pretending to exercise, nose picking and something that vaguely resembles the birdie dance.

Here we go. Some things to ponder about.

Q1) Why is heavy metal called metal? Or Rock called Rock. And people have gone so far as to determine the texture of the said rock, as in – Hard Rock &Soft Rock?
Well, I have, in my spare time, hypothesized on this question and came to this conclusion - Hypothesize is a pretty big word to connote postulate. Postulate is pretty nasty as well.
Back to the point. I postulated that the roots of rock can be traced back to the stone age. Stone Age – Rock? Get it?
The earliest band, I’ve concluded, were Guns & Moses and Def Shepherd.

Q2) Why do people wear clothes?
Seriously. Adam and Eve went on fine. Then they ate the fruit and they were “ashamed” of their nakedness.
Why? There was no one to compare themselves with. For all Eve knew, he was ALL MAN. Even when it was cold. And Eve was the hottest thing ever!
My conclusion. There was no excitement. If you’re naked all the time, there’s nothing to fantasize about. You’ve revealed the plot and now nobody wants to watch the movie.
Suddenly, here a fig leaf. There a fig leaf, and voila! Hot Pants.
Adam- some leather here and there and…. Whoa there cowboy. Looking plenty good!
Eh? We on a roll now.

Q3) Why did the turtle win the race?
Why did he? Was it because the rabbit tripped over the chicken that was crossing the road?
What are we teaching our kids? That it’s okay be a slow poke?
Shouldn’t we be realistic and let the rabbit win once in a while?
This is what I have to say:

½ tblspn salt
A pinch of oregano.
Some tobasco sauce.
Curd and a few spices that I can never remember but are small and look like twigs.
1 tasty rabbit / Turtle / any other fairytale animal.

Method: Roast tasty animal till no hint of fairytale exists. Mix in the other stuff and baste on the animal. Have with generous doses of alcohol.

I had more questions, but after that impromptu recipe, I got kindda hungry. If you guys have any questions avec the answers, do write in.

Ciao for now and all that jazz and stuff.