I was drinking the other day (yeah yeah.. so whats new) and thinking about nursery rhymes. Yeah. Revving up the grey cells.
Serendipity! It struck me like a goose flying north inthe winter. They've taught us to be stupid from day one!
Get this....." Twinkle twinkle little star... how I wonder what you are!" You just said it! STAR!!!! What the f*** do you mean " how i wonder what you are?" Shmuck!
How about.. "Baa Baa black sheep have you any wool? What else you f***ing moron? You think sheep start growing nylon after 40 and a couple of more years it gets to silk? And you've got to double check by asking the damn sheep? Like he's gonna tell you the truth!
Sheep: "No Jon.... it 50% wool and 50 percent man made fibres... do not wash in hot water or give to the dhobi" Hah! Double hah!
I got one more. A phrase. "A stitch in time saves nine"
Nine what?
People?
Are you trying to tell me that instead ofsending in the troops to iraq Bush should have sent in a couple of hundrerd seamstresses????? What the bejeezes is the world coming too. And i've only just begun scraping the surface! Your comments are welcome!
The Seer,
Jonathan
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Conspiracy! ... it's all coming to me.. in a flurry! Like lots of horny roosters chasing a harrowed hen. So yesterday.. i started a little early celebrating of the ending of the week ( wednesday's not all tha far from a saturday) and after a couple of beers at 6:30 in the evening (the sun was still up!) i jotted down a coouple of more things.
So if you ain't fed-up of Jonathan's ruminations. here are summore.
I've got more of them society's screwing up our mind thingies. ... For example : Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.
What the hell WAS JILL thinking? She saw the dude falling down and cracking his nut. Probably suffering from multiple fractures. Brain hemorrhaging... and she’s going.. Hey that must be fun.. let me try it! Halloo? I’m sure they didn’t go up there to fetch no pail of water. They were probably went up there to light a joint, when jack said.." you know Jill babe.. I can fly"
And she say.. " uhhh...No way dude"
And he says.. "yeah babe...I show you" .Oops.
And then Jill didn’t want to be left out. So she spreads her hands out ,, says.. look at my big bird impression and down she goes too!
How’s about Rock a bye baby on the tree top….. when the bough breaks the cradle will fall.. down will come baby cradle and all.
Take into consideration… this is a child who’s suffering from a sleep disorder we’re talking about. So what we’re telling him is - We’re Gonna put you high up on a branch, …if you suffer from Vertigo.. I care a rats ass. Then I’m gonna take a chain saw and hack off the branch but blame it on the breeze. And you’re gonna come falling down till *splat*. Okie Dokie.. Gnite sweety!
Oh by the way.. i'm working on my own nusery rhymes that are not only intelligent but realistic... coming soon.
10 comments:
Jon, something tells me you weren't a very happy baby.
hehehehehehe I never get tired of your whining...do go on, fatboy.
I WAS HAPPY.
STILL FRIGGIN HAPPY.
CAN'T YOU TELL?
So happy that we might read of you in the papers. On front page. Posed with a bloody chainsaw.
I was thinking uzi.
i dont think he is too good with weapons as such ... but i wouldnt put death due to mental torture past him.-- bev
>Like lots of horny roosters chasing a harrowed hen.
very apt image!!!
And what about "little jack horner, sitting in the corner, eating his curds and whey; he put in his thumb and pulled out a plum and said what a good boy am I"
Figure that one out!
Karen I think that is symbollic of the way in which children's creativity is suppressed. Leading us to believe that there is no other way to eat a plum except by sticking your themb in it. Or else, it's simply freudian in nature.
it has to do with Santa Clause and freud actually.
You see, this Jack bloke has been a bad lad the whole year, and he need to make up for it during christmas.
His oly road to salvation is putting his thumb into his dessert and pulling out a plum. Which is symbolic for putting his thumb into his dessert and pulling out a plum.
Everyone knows that an inane insignificant act like that won't get him the goodies - proof of Santa's underlying sexual insecurities.
@ iz & jonathan - And here I thought Jack was a perverted selfish/greedy psycho who didn't like to share. Thanks for the enlightenment. Infact once my head stops hurting I'm sure I'll appreciate it even more!
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