Family Matters

Comme Ca va? ... Marhaba… teshek delek. Nihao…Howdy!
None of those are made up. I’m making progress huh? I was once known… among the literary cirles as ‘multi lingual Jonathan.’ Primarily because of the fact that I could say “Holy shit” in exactly 2 languages.
Anyway, still on the lines of subjects of substance, today’s blog is about family ties- ties that bind, and strengthen and ties that are sometimes used for kinky sex. (focus jonathan... focus you horny bastard.. family ties.. not neck ties)
Ok….Ever since I was 8 years, my parents have been pleading with me to run away from home. Heehee…those jokers. Mom… dad… you were joking all those years right?
But seriously. have you ever thought about it. The subtle hints that your family gives you, subconsciously or not, to express how they feel for you. I have kept a log of events of such SUBTLE hints….
1 year old – One brother learns how to spell the word ‘asphyxiation’
1 year and 1 day – Learns the words ‘asphyxiation’ and ‘younger brother’ and tries to use them together… physically.
2 years and 3 days – Other brother… the kind soul that he is.. ties to send me to Jesus. Via garbage disposal.
5 years – ‘Supposedly’ got myself lost in the supermarket. The fact that my folks told me to run down the vegetable aisle, close my eyes and count to 100… seemed a bit fishy. When I saw them getting into the car and speeding away before I reached 5… proved certain suspicions.
6 years – Family dog bites me.
6 years 1 minute – Family dog starts chewing the door mat. Rumour has it that he was trying to get the previous awful taste from out from his mouth. Go figure!
9 years – Family buys a rotweiller. (Hmmmmm… why does he have a glazed look in his eyes. And why are they forcing me to play…'blow in the sweet doggies face’. And why am I the only one playing?)
Anyways.. it goes on and on. Infact Just the other day I received a bill from my mother asking me to pay for rent for the first 13 years of my life, food expenses…stationary.. the bill also includes 9 months rent while she was carrying me, and incidental expenses for labour pains. Hehehe.. funny Ma.
Ahh.. family. Who can survive without it. It’s a gift. To help one cope with life’s problems and deal with all the lemons life hands out.
So, if any of you guys wanna share with us anecdotes, stories et al about your freaky families, do write in,

Waiting, Ciao for now and .. blah blah blah